Holy Shiitake… VEGAN CHOCOLATE CAKE? The unhealthy vegan series // Bob’s sweet tooth favourites + CAKE RECIPE

I have a dream…

Stairway to vegan cookie heaven ☁️

A dream of an unfit world, surrounded by like-minded people…

Dodging salad bars together and diving into chocolate fondu waterfalls

Where dessert is not just recommended, but compulsory.

No cookie too sweet, no brownie too rich…

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Where the days of solo midnight cookie raids are a thing of the past.

No more Jammie Dodgers hidden under your pillow.

No more shame glares after going for a second slice.

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I have given the savoury life a go…

Meditated.

Drank green juice with every unspeakable vegetable in it.

Rolled in alfalfa sprouts.

I’ve tried stretching, gardening, running…

(away from the Oreos).

All in an attempt to convince myself that I am a vegetable kind of guy.

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But just as the Kardashian’s can’t live without publicity,
I cannot live without a double choc chip.

I’m a cookie person.

And well, I’m ok with that…

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As Easter has come and gone – I find myself staring at the calendar – waiting for the next candy filled holiday to justify my cookie addiction.

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Now, if you too dream of salads that look more like brownies, then don’t go and dismiss your usual sweet go-to favourites just yet…

What may look like your typical – jam doughnut – crammed with all things animal related, may actually be ‘accidentally vegan.’

Animal free snacks are hidden here there and everywhere.

So, I decided to write a list of a few personal favourites, for all of my fellow sweet tooth bandits out there…

For the days that you don’t fancy whipping up a cookie and want something that will sabotage your running progress…

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What’s lettuce got to do,
(got to do) with it?

(Australia + UK)

A U S T R A L I A

– Arnott’s: Choc Ripple biscuits, Gingernut biscuits, Lemon Crisp biscuits, Nice Biscuits

– Macro: Double choc biscuits

– Lindt 70% and 85% cocoa dark chocolate blocks

– Leda: Choc Chip Cookies, Chocolate Rum Balls, Choculence, Dunkies Biscuits, Gingernut Cookies, Golden Crunch, Minton Biscuits

– Ben and Jerry’s: * New release * : Ice-cream made with almond milk – flavours – Caramel and Almond Brittle, Coffee Caramel Fudge, Coconut Seven Layer Bar, Chocolate Fudge Brownie, Chunky Monkey, Peanut butter and cookies.

-Dairy Fine dark chocolate with ChocoAir – Aldi

-Whittaker’s Peppermint Dark Chocolate

-Whittaker’s Bittersweet Peanut Butter Slab

-Eskal Scottish Shortbread

-Wonka Long Lasting Gob Stoppers

-Mini Moo’s Hammy’s original bars

-McVitie’s Digestive biscuits + Chocolate Chip Hobnobs

-Sweet William Chocolate Spread

-Tyrrell’s Sweet ‘Poshcorn’

-Homebrand Dark Cooking Chocolate

-Loving Earth Chocolate: Lemon cheesecake, ‘Mylk’, coconut, raspberry, salted caramel, etc…

– Pana Chocolate: Strawberry and pistachio, mint, cherry and vanilla, fig and orange, etc…

– Alter Eco Chocolate: Dark sea salt, cacao, almond, mint, quinoa, blackout…

– The Chocolate Counter: Chocolate brownie, Hazelnut mylk, almond and amaranth, mylk chocolate

-Rowie’s Cakes: Chocolate and raspberry biscuit

-Paradise: Jam Fancies

-Fox’s Party Rings

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U K

-12 Rocky Road Mini bites – Tesco ‘Free From’ range

– Fox’s Cookie Mini’s

– Hotel Chocolat: Orange Tangs

-Swedish Glace: Strawberry ice-cream with chocolate coating (made with soy) – Tesco

– Oat Nobblies – Morrison’s

– Bourbon Creams – Morrison’s

– Fox’s: Chunky dark chocolate cookies

– Mcvitie’s: Hobnobs – Dark chocolate chip cookies

– Chocolate chip cookies – Sainbury’s ‘Free From’ range

– Digestive biscuits – Aldi

– Ginger nut biscuits – Aldi

– Rich tea biscuits – Aldi

– Plain chocolate digestive biscuits – Tesco

– Choc chip cookie bites – Asda

– Fruit shortcake biscuits – Asda

– Nice biscuits – Asda

– Jammy wheels – Asda

– BelVita Chocolate breakfast biscuits

– Doves Farm – Chocolate chip cookies

-Ben and Jerry’s * New release * : Ice-cream made with almond milk – flavours – Chocolate Fudge Brownie, Chunky Monkey, Peanut butter and cookies.

-Dark Chocolate and Orange thins – Morrison’s

-Galaxy Drinking Chocolate! (The Galaxy instant hot chocolate contains milk, but this version is vegan!) * gluten-free + palm oil free * – Look for the pink label.

-Strawberry flavoured Laces – Tesco.

-Green and Black’s Dark Chocolate with sea salt

(It’s always worth giving the back of packages a look before buying as ingredients can change all the time)

*For more accidentally vegan goods check out the Instagram ‘accidentally vegan’ or just hit google with whatever food you like and see if it is vegan too… *

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If you somehow muster up the motivation to instead make a cake…

Here is

– Steve’s –

‘You only live once, but you will probably die after this’

Chocolate and Vanilla Cake

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What you will need:

For the cake –

  • 400ml soy mylk
  • 40ml apple cider vinegar
  • 400g caster sugar
  • 400g self-raising flour
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp bicarbonate of soda
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 160ml coconut oil
  • 2 tbsp vanilla extract

Oven temperature : 180C

Mix the vinegar and soy mylk together in a small bowl and leave to the side for 10 mins

In a seperate bowl mix all the dry ingredients together until they are fully combined

Then add soy mylk mix, vanilla and oil with a metal spoon quickly for around 15 seconds

Tap the bowl on the work surface and watch the bubbles pop!

Pour mix into two cake tins making sure to either grease or line with parchment paper first

Bang the tins on the surface again before popping in the oven

Bake for around 30 mins (or if your oven is as terrible as mine then you’re looking at more like 5 hours)

When all baked and golden – allow to cool on a baking tray and prepare the icing

For the icing – 

  • 450g icing sugar
  • 45g vegan butter
  • 60ml soy mylk
  • 10ml vanilla extract
  • ALL OF THE CACAO
  • (opt – raspberries and vegan chocolate chips)

Whip together the vegan butter and vanilla until creamy

Add half of the icing sugar and half of the soy mylk and begin to mix

When the ingredients start to combine, then add the rest of the icing sugar and mylk

If the mixture is too thick for you add more mylk and if it is too thin then add more icing sugar

Then begin to sift in a small amount of cacao powder

Continue to add until you get the chocolatey flavour you like

(Option to add in crushed raspberries or vegan chocolate chips to icing here too)

  • Layer icing on cake and top with all the vegan gooooooooods!
  • CHOCOLATE, RASPBERRIES, COOKIES, BLUEBERRIES, BROWNIES, STRAWBERRIES, ETC…

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Remember – it’s ok to not be a savoury person

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You want cake?

Eat the cake.

Bob

 

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